Yesterday I was pretty optimistic.  Then again, yesterday was only my first day taking supplements and doing my new eating routine, including the 3 “C”s of eating.  The idea of having this be my life for the next 30 days (at least) is highly depressing.  I would say the absolute worst part are the changes I am having to make surrounding my eating.  I hate gargling before meals and I really hate not having something to do while I am eating.  I have always just ate while doing whatever else without really focusing on my eating and making sure I chew everything thoroughly.  It takes FOREVER for me to chew everything thoroughly.  So long, in fact, that I get bored with it really quick and want to stop eating.

On the upside, I have already seen some weight loss from my diet changes and I imagine they will continue if I am only managing to eat half of everything at each meal.  I had briefly mentioned yesterday that I think my TMJ disorder and pain in my jaw is part of what caused me to stop chewing my food very well and yeah, now I am sure of it.  When I have to chew for what feels like forever my jaw definitely starts to feel it, and I end up having to rest my jaw.  Overall, it is such a freaking project to eat anymore that I don’t want to eat.  Last night I put off dinner until about 8 p.m. just because I didn’t feel like doing everything else that comes along with eating.

I would say I got a lot of sleep last night because I went to bed early, but unfortunately my sleep was also interrupted by me waking up at 1:40 a.m. with crazy amounts of hives.  I am a little worried that they seemed worse yesterday than they have been for a bit.  Also, the low histamine food requirement is really wearing on me as well.  I thought that fermented foods were good for healing your gut (which they are), but apparently fermented foods are NOT good to have if you are trying to eat low histamine.  It also listed leftover meat on there as not good to have, which I emailed Dr. Rosinski about and he confirmed that I shouldn’t be eating leftover meat and if I do, I should eat it cold instead of reheating it.  Um… HUH?  That is so not how I want to be living my life.  First of all, I already prepped a bunch of food and now I get to look forward to eating all of that cold?  Awesome.  Not to mention, I just simply do not have time to cook myself fresh meat at every meal.  It is not practical.  I work two jobs and sticking to these weird meal requirements is going to be hard enough this weekend while I am working all day, and now finding this out is making my life a thousand times harder.  So I just ate my lunch cold and it was miserable and I only managed to get down half of it.

I am just so frustrated with the whole situation and seriously considering whether I can just deal with getting hives every day for the rest of my life.  Considering the options, it is looking like that would be better than what I am doing right now.  It is only the second day and this whole process is stressing me out so much and making me feel really hopeless and just like I can’t do this.  I am doing the best I can but I don’t know how I am going to continue to make this happen.  I would say my stress level is super high today with everything that is going on.  The only good thing is that it is Friday and even though following my new routine will be more difficult working at Longhorn this weekend, I would still rather be at Longhorn than the office.  I really hope things start getting easier soon.  It is not the pill taking that is really difficult it is the lifestyle changes and all of the food requirements that are more of an issue, but I am doing everything I can for the time being.

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