So my last post was pretty positive.  Optimistic even.  All about finding your inner strength in times of struggle and turning disadvantages into advantages.  This will not be that type of post – this is your warning.

Regardless of how much I WANT to be positive, I have really been struggling physically and mentally the past couple of days.  I have so much going on and a lot of “mental fog,” which is one of the symptoms of Hashimoto’s.  The mental fog makes me feel like I am confused all of the time and I have been forgetting things a lot lately.  I have even been having trouble coming up with the name for things (today I called a quote mark a parenthesis and an apostrophe before I finally came up with the actual word “quote,” which is not like me at all).  I am very Type-A so I hate not feeling like I am on top of things and there is a lot going on for me this week as far as testing goes, so now is not a good time to not be mentally aware (a little foreshadowing here).

Last night I went in for an ultrasound of my thyroid and I was supposed to get blood taken for blood work as well.  Go figure – even though the scheduling office told me when I scheduled the ultrasound appointment that I didn’t need an appointment for the blood work and I could do both at the same time, the blood work place had closed at 5:00 p.m. when I showed up shortly after 5 for my 5:30 p.m. ultrasound appointment.  Cue INSANE ANGER (that’s not really a symptom although I’m sure me being on steroids longterm doesn’t help – I just have crazy anger issues).  Just more misinformation from the people who are SUPPOSED to be trying to help and fix me.  Tomorrow I took a half a day off from the office for allergy testing, so I will just have to go back to Pinnacle Health after the allergy testing to get my blood drawn.

Which brings me to my next issue – I totally forgot that I needed to stop taking my allegra 5 days before my allergy test so that the pills wouldn’t affect the results.  Unfortunately, I obviously remembered a bit late since my test is now tomorrow morning.  DAMN YOU MENTAL FOG!  There really isn’t anything I can do about the pills I have already taken, so all I can do is hold off on the allegra until after my test, which means a miserable night of hives for me.  The last allegra I took was at about midnight last night, which is not even close to the 5 days they told me to hold off (oops).  When I got my flare up at work today I only took the zantac and ended up taking prednisone #2 for the day, because I knew that just zantac would do basically nothing.  Even with the prednisone, I am sitting here flaring up with hives as I type this.  My ears, neck and face have already been hot with hives for about an hour now and more fresh hives keep popping up on other limbs.  Also, I always seem to wake up with a flare in the mornings unless I wake up in the middle of the night to take pills, so I am expecting to be ridiculously hivey and uncomfortable tomorrow morning.  Hopefully nothing on my face will be swollen.  All I will have to do is make it into the allergy test and make it through that and then I can take my little cocktail of pills and wait for relief to come again.

With that said, there is no way I would have made it through 5 days without allegra while still going to work and functioning and really – if I am still getting hives so badly even with all of the medications and it is due to an allergy, don’t you think I would still get SOME kind of a reaction if they pricked me with that same allergen?  Yeah…. I do too.  My case is so severe I feel like the meds won’t make that much of a difference with the test because seriously – the meds don’t make that much of a difference in my quality of life right now. They are just a super temporary spot treatment that reduce my symptoms for as long as they decide to last.  As it is I am sure that I will be showing up to the allergy test covered in hives as I mentioned above.

Regardless of my mistakes, I don’t need to stress myself out about things I can’t change. At least that is what I keep telling myself logically, but I can’t seem to make these feelings go away.  I feel like I am in constant panic mode.  You know that feeling like you are sure that you forgot something or something terrible is about to happen?  That feeling of impending doom – I have felt like that pretty much 24/7 the past couple of days and I just can’t seem to shake it.  I know the intense stress and anxiety is just a symptom right now and it is just an excess of cortisol and my adrenals freaking out on me, but the knowing doesn’t stop the feelings.  I know it won’t last forever though.  There will be a light at the end of the tunnel and I have a game plan, it is just time and waiting that is wearing on me.

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One thought on “Mental Fog and More Testing

  1. I’m so sorry you have been feeling like this! I def know about the mental fog! Its very frustrating…torturing too in a way! Sometimes when I feel a little “floaty” I have to ask my kids to remind me where we are going when we leave our house lol! Just keep reminding yourself that it’s just a phase and it will pass (hopefully). I have hashi’s too and its def challenging to keep things in balance all the time! Check out my blog too! Take care!

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